when it rains, it pours. di tuloy ako makauwi.
Entries for August, 2004
August 8th, 2004
i need comfort... not.
do not comfort me. let me indulge in my own pathetic misery. i just took the upcat, and unfortunately, it didn't go as well as i pictured. my answer sheet was a mess (with all the erasures in my doubtful moments), my hair was a mess (i left my comb), my scratch paper was a mess (i was hoping i could do mental math. no, wrong choice of hopes.), my stomach was a mess (i just took a bite of chicken sandwich for breakfast. to think i brought a big bag of food), my urinary bladder was a mess (i didn't dare take 5 minutes off the upcat), and disgustingly, my ovaries and pituitary gland were a mess in their own right (no, i do not want to explain that).
i hate the math part. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. and i hate the course i wanted to take (i.e. BS math - disgusting, do not remind me or else...) i hate that i didn't review. i hate that i didn't eat breakfast. i hate that i didn't urinate when i had to. i hate that this guy sitting diagonally from me looked like someone who would be among the oblation scholars. i hate that i cannot find statistics that would give me hope of passing. i hate that suddenly, everybody else seems smarter. i hate that i'm in this pathetic regret mode. i hate that no one else is online. i hate that i can't take my mind off it. i hate that i don't feel like anything would compensate for this terrible day. i hate that i do not find consolation in seeing other people more miserable. i hate that i have lost my appetite. i hate that here i am, thinking about the UPCAT, and the fact that there's six more months ahead of sulking and excruciating anticipation of the results that could make or break my little wooden heart
. eww. scrap that. that statement didn't just come out of me, did it? no it didn't. it's just your playful imagination, dear.Ü i hate...
so now, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Imelda Marcos became one of the most powerful women in the world in spite of her unacknowledge educational background. hmm... i guess i just have to pose in malacanang and wait for the next president to notice me. i will manipulate him and i will climb my way up into international power. that almost sounds evil.
after all, my ultimate goal is to be queen of the world...
Posted by juliecious at 01:17 PM |
August 9th, 2004
BIG FAT thanks to MaIKa!!!!
MAIKA!!!!! thank you so, so much for this layout!!! thanks, sobra!!! guys, i didn't do this. i can't. ayt?! all credits should be given to
Posted by juliecious at 06:43 PM |
August 10th, 2004
ang saya nito ah.
Ang saya nito!!! joke lang. Hindi siya masaya.
Aba’y lumabas na ang results ng aming exams. Well not all of them. Teka… actually, dalawa lang pala yung nagsoli. Econ at English. yung econ, ayos lang, 63/70 ako. aba’y English… taragis yan, dito pa naman ako sumasabit, 72/100 lang ako!!! actually, yung intial results, nine (OO, SIYAM, 9!!!) lang yung pumasa samin, out of 41 students!!! Pramizzz… mas mahirap pa ito sa sampung language proficiency tests sa UPCAT. Ngayong binabaan yung passing score, ginawang 65, pasado na si QUEEN… astig. 34 na kaming “pasado”. Damn. I can feel it… C sa English. Scary. Yoko na.
Sablay na naman ako sa decision making… kanina, magm-McDo sana kami, kaya lang hindi ako sumama dahil akala ko darating na agad ang bus ko. aba’y ang tagal niya eh. badtrip!!! Sayang lang. Sabagay, baka sabi ni God, magtipid ako. wala na akong pera. Andami ko pa namang gagawin this week. Tsk.
Yeba!! Career talk kami tomorrow!!! Walang classes. Magpapainit lang kami ng cheap-ass Marian Auditorium seats… what’s better than that? Di sana ako papasok, kaya lang gusto ko ng attendance award. Sayang, pano kung wala man lang akong award, kahit yun lang.Ü
Posted by juliecious at 06:04 PM |
my bloated tummy
Ay magaling. Sira nanaman ang internet. Taragis yan. Kaya nga di ko napost kaagad yung pang-kahapon ko na entry eh. pano ba naman, laging may error sa connection. Anong gagawin ko? eh di nga ako maalam sa mga ganito. Tsk, tsk.
Anyway… ang laki ng tiyan ko. as in major laki. 2 inches yung nilaki niya from yesterday. From 24 ½ naging 26 ½ wow. Iba toh ah. ang sakit na nga eh. parang sasabog.
1) RECESS: sobrang daming lugaw, complete with lotsa pieces of
chicken, turon, water.
2) LUNCH: egg something… I don’t understand the thing, but it’s
really good, tapos gulaman.Ü
3) DISMISSAL: lots of pizza!!! Yellow cab!!! Yummm! Thank you
Maika!!!
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
God Bless!!! And thank you sooo much for the pizza. Hehe.
NO REASON AT ALL
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
hay… career talk. More like university talk. It’s not like they were helping us to choose careers, it’s more of them selling themselves to us. GOOOOO UP!!!!! hay, sablay nanamn sa timing ang MC. Too late kids. The UPCAT is gone. All our hopes and dreams came with it. eww. Joke lang. That was pathetic. I was sleeping the whole time. I actually dreamt of something when the La Salle representative was talking. Gawd!!! My neck still hurts from my sleeping position. Sad.
Posted by juliecious at 06:21 PM |
August 13th, 2004
I had my hair cut! super short!
gupit buhok. ikli. gusto ko. wag comment sama. umbag ko. di ako patient.
wow. friday the thirteenth. dapat malas ako ngayon ah. but no. everything turned out fine. i like this day actually.
REASONS:
1. nilibre ako ni noela ng bulalo.Ü gustong gusto ko talaga ng libre!!! kahit na maliit lang or candy. whatever. basta from the heart. eww. kadiri.
2. napaniwala ko si _____ na may _____ ako para ma_____ siya sakin at di na niya ako _____ dahil halata namang may _____ siya sakin. (ba't ba? pano kung makita niya toh? can't take that risk.
)
3. nahatak ko si Gorj magsimba. i feel great.
4. nagpagupit ako! after 6 months ng no salon visit at all. i feel so good to be back to my sanctuary. everything's just great and shallow.
5. Music. hehe. sorry classmates na ayaw ito. sobrang gusto ko lang talaga ang music this year than last year. biruin mo sobrang bagsak ako dati. major yun talaga yung sabit sakin. tsk, tsk. BUT NOW. sobrang gusto ko na siya! di na ako nahihirapan! kesa naman last year noh, struggle yung history. pati yung lintik na listening sh*t na yan. hay. love music now!!!
6. pizza roll.
super yum. best thing about it? nilibre din ako ni Justine! hihi. sabi ko nga eh, natatakot na ako, kasi parang everyone's so nice to me all of a sudden. it's like i'm dying or something. am I? hope not.
7. new internet card.
8. a lot of other things i forgot about. pero i'm sure maraming masayang nangyari sakin. i have this optimistic thing going on.
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uy.... ang ganda ng homily ng priest kanina. it was kind of irrelevant to us, young ladies (yeah, right) but it was about marriage. marriage. gosh. haven't even thought of myself with anyone, however ideal. kadiri lang. hehe. (feeling innocent little girl. eww.)
anyway, the priest said that we should stop, di naman stop, siguro avoid looking for the perfect guy. kasi apparently, he does not exist. (no, he does.
). we should instead try our best to be the right lady. what if the right guy comes, but you're not the right lady? you won't be worthy of him. even if you are, you won't attract him. usually, i'd be totally pissed off with this kind of notion, being the feminist that i am, but i can't help but think that this is only fair. preparing ourselves for this inevitable event (parang sobrang negative eh) is not bad. it's just as good a preparation as studying for a test (yeah right). 
anyway, this is too long. it pains me. 
(weh, i just so wanted to use this emoticon.
Posted by juliecious at 07:34 PM |
Super Great Song
NO DOUBT LYRICS
"Bathwater"
You and your museum of lovers
The precious collection you've housed in your covers
My simpleness threatened by my own admission
And the bags are much too heavy
In my insecure condition
My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again
But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man
Wanted and adored by attractive women
Bountiful selection at your discretion
I know I'm diving into my own destruction
So why do we choose the boys that are naughty?
I don't fit in so why do you want me?
And I know I can't tame you...but I just keep trying
'Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I'm on your list with all your other women
But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
You make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man
Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?
So I pacify problems with kisses and cuddles
Diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble
Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions
'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
Share a toothbrush...you're my kind of man
I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man
No I can't help myself
I can't help myself
I still love to wash in your old bathwater
thanks to
www.azlyrics.com
Posted by juliecious at 08:19 PM |
August 15th, 2004
kulang nga naman ang weekend
I'm killing myself. I've joined all these clubs and orgs that i can't keep up with them anymore. To think I'm done with my CAT thing.
I didn't go to my CLC camp last Friday because I was too tired and busy from the long week. (feeling ka ba. career talk lang yun ah?!) besides, i needed some good sleep for my graduation picture the next day. that's something i wouldn't get from a camp. especially a girls' camp... I didn't have anything to wear yet, and it was so frustrating because i already knew exactly who i was going to be... i just hate not having the perfect clothes and accessories to pull it off. i was thinking... (guys, wild guess.Ü) siempre QUEEN.
I didn't have my crown yet. yeah, it's a crown... it couldn't be a tiara because i might look like a princess... (all too common). i also needed a scepter. on the pictorial date, i didn't have either of those. All i had was my "little twin stars" hair clip. argh. frustrating. so i ended up being the "teeny bopper"... ooh. but i also had shots with Bries' tiara... trying to look like a queen. but dang, i think it was more "princessy"... because of all that girly stuff... argh. oh well.. i guess it's all in God's plan.
I'm just really hoping i don't regret my poses. Gawd... if i do regret them, I would have the rest of my life for sulking.
After the pictorial, we prepared the decorations for the Linggo ng Wika thing... argh. I'm so not artistic. obvious ba??? Argh!!! And i had to do the slogan with my classmate Jackie. the theme is so not true and i can't lie. so i can't do it... it's just so irrelevant, even contradictory to what i believe in. and what is true for this time... I'm so frustrated, i didn't even volunteer for it... my classmates just pointed to me and there i was, helpless and with the burden of the slogan.
After that, we ate at World Topps.. where i had chicken bbq... i thought it was like particular parts of a chicken really bbqed... but no. it was just the breasts.. eww.. no trace of fat. so not worth it. to think it took me a long time to place my order because i was afraid i might make the wrong decision again. Oh well... i guess i'd always be like this. I wish i just ordered what Criselle had. she had this beef thing... really, really, good. Funny. Criselle was talking about this dessert of vanilla ice-cream and something else.. she thought it was called decadent and they ended up ordering two servings. when the orders came, the decadent was just chocolate cake. turns out her friend told the wrong thing. poor Criselle, so excited about that dessert.
Then THE SOIREE. gosh. can't believe these people. we arrived late, and the guys arrived EVEN LATER. like 5 hours late. when they came, we had to leave. oh well, at least we had fun with the few who came on time. i was fetched at McDo, and my parents were late too. when Ayla, Karen and Kaira left, i was alone in a 6-seater table, eating gravy with a fork. how pathetic. i guess that should be a learning experience in whatever sick way.
Today, i went to the NB Sector Assembly. OMG. the view from our venue was just breath-taking. i love it there. the only thing i didn't like about this day was that our group lost in the Amazing race. what a stressful game. Then i bought a bottle of 1.5 L coke for a whopping P50.00!!! what cheaters. and my lunch was a cup of instant noodles. but that's fine. i ate 10 isaw when we went home. and as i type this entry, i still feel all that animal intestine in my own intestine. it would be disgusting if i didn't love isaw so much.
I'm so lucky to have heard mass today. i got the answer to our CL HW. God's love talaga.
i guess that's it. i still have to do this english thing. waaaah. kulang talaga ang weekend.
Posted by juliecious at 08:02 PM |
August 22nd, 2004
why do i hate the likeable ones?
ewan ko ah, may thing ata ako na ayaw ko talagang sumaya. hehe. i always miss out on things, people or places that would make me happy. i'm a big time masochist. vudthrip. to think gusto ko pang ilagay dito (bago nasira ang phone namin at nawalan ako ng connection sa world for toooooo looooonng) yung song na "satisfaction" by eve... well, ilalagay ko pa rin. i just love that song. so fun.
tapos ang YM status ko ngayon ay "why do i hate the likeable ones?" napansin ko kasi na parang ang dami na nilang kinakaasaran kong gusto naman ng ibang tao. i mean si _ _ _ _ at si _ _ _ _ _ _ at si _ _ _ _ _. yung last one, i don't really hate him, i just don't enjoy his company. hehe. sorry.
pero ang pinaka-ayaw ko sa kanila ay yung first. OMG. i can't even start. he's so self-centered, self-absorbed, self-praising and other self negatives. labo. and his ego is so big, it can't be supported by his barbecue stick figure. gosh. i don't even know why you guys like him. yeah he could be funny, in a slapstick way. like when you're watching a zoo creature making fun of itself. sorry, parang ang sama na. argh. asar lang ako sa kanya. he's so rude. and rowdy. i mean, i'm not prim and proper and all that sh*t, and i'm not trying to create an empire of people like that, but the thing is, he's just way out of my league, even out of my nightmare league. i just can't stand him! i don't even look at him, i mean he's just an eyesore. sorry Lord. last na. he thinks he's exempted from the stuff that everyone else has to do. i mean, how could you be exempted? you're not even good at what you do, whatever the hell it is. oh and guys, he's not an ex, an ex MU, an ex anything, alright? i'm still quite sane to engage in something like that. the mere thought makes me cringe.
so as i've mentioned, our phone was busted for 5 days, so i wasn't able to use the internet for quite some time. and i've been longing to blog!!! i've got so much to write!!!
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Monday - OMG, another proof of God's love and guidance. i left my allowance but i survived. i was going to ateneo and i didn't have money to commute back because justine was going to leave me there, all alone. i was so desperate and i asked money from these girls and they said they didn't have any (liars) but my bus came and gave me money. yey, money for the trike. then it started raining! but before it poured full force (yeah, try saying that phrase over and over), we were already inside the admissions buildling. thank you Lord!!! then when i was going back to MC, i didn't know how!!! gosh, i was going to ride a trike na nga eh!!! i hate my sense of direction. there was this girl who was waiting for a trike with me and was going to MC too, and i asked her if we could just ride the same trike. she said yes, whoopee!! saved. the girl was so nice, asking me if i submitted my application form and stuff... nice girl that was. BUT THEN AGAIN, the trike went past the friendship bridge!!! so we were just going through gate 1, and i don't have a commuter's pass so they won't let me in. the girl agreed to tell the guard that she was my sister. wow, ang bait. you know, things like this have been happening to me, like there's some random person acting like my guardian angel. thank God. sabi nga ni justine "alam mo julie, kahit ang malas malas mo, lagi ka parang swerte" or something to that effect. then i arrived just in time to help out in our classroom decors.
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tuesday - picture day!! i just love camera phones! i love pictures! my friends and i were taking pictures of ourselves and decided that it was a "good picture day". we looked good in almost all the shots. the key word there is
almost. i mean, we are girls, we are supposed to not like some aspect of our face. i wrote my essay for ateneo. i was going to post it here, but i thought it'd be embarrassing. it's too personal. thank God even ateneo won't read it anyway.
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wednesday - Linggo ng Wika celebration. haha. my "filipiniana" was a white top and my sister's 4th grade costume. wow, it fits. it was a polka dotted skirt and it was yellow!!! with colorful spots! my classmates were teasing me and even called out my name when Ms lacson was asking for our class' representative for the costume contest. yeah right. like anyone could go up against Alodia. she's always had the best costume every Linggo ng wika, even when we were just in grade school. but amanda was our representative. i wasn't able to watch the watch the program because i had to submit my acet application form. last day. i went to THE ATENEO in my FILIPINIANA. it was almost embarrassing. it only became embarrassing to the highest power when i saw the guy calling out the names of those applying... OMG, he's soooooo gorgeous. it was so embarrassing because i think they've been calling out my name and i couldn't hear it because they've been looking at me. either that, or my attire caught their unwanted attention. argh. nakakahiya. but after that, after experiencing their nice accommodation, i wanted to study in the ateneo. before there was no other university for me but UP, but now, i want to go to THE ATENEO. everyone's been singing "pieces of me". pati ako.
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thursday - no classes. jb texted me asking for my portfolio and it hit me, i wasn't able to submit it!!! i had a way, i mean, i could've gone to UP and given it to Pam who was going to have it bound. but i didn't have my "best works" with me. damn!!! the thing that i disturbed three people for, the thing that kept me awake past my bedtime, the thing that frustrated me and earned a spot in my YM status... the thing that had no use because i wasn't able to submit it!!! argh. oh well, it's not graded. it's just so frustrating.
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friday - pizza with the principal. i ate 1 1/2 slices of yellow cab pizza, biggest size. that's a lot. the principal was nice. i like her, she's so fun. and i told her i don't like my elective. well she asked! there's no point in getting-to-know-you's if you'd lie. when i got home, i haven't anything to do so i wrote a "poem". it's about... wild guess. i'll post it later.
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saturday - whooppeee!!! sportsfest!!! fun, i love CLC!!! this is the most fun i've had in this org. i met people from xavier, ica, and ateneo. they're all nice. except for astroboy. he's intolerable. so i didn't tolerate him. argh. but the volleyball game was embarrassing! i was so intimidated by the girl fascilitating the game, she's one of my favorite volleyball varsity members from MC. oh well. but i had fun! too bad i didn't join the basketball game. but i was the team "cheerleader". i kept on shouting, my throat hurt after that. we also had a soiree with claret. this is our first soiree with claret and it went fine. i just made a lot of mess. first i spilled coke on the pool table, then beer on the carpet. the owner was furious, but he didn't know i did it. hehe. he was drunk anyway. and when he's sober enough to remeber, i'd be miles away from him and his wrath.
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sunday - argh, i didn't hear mass, i feel so guilty. sorry Lord. i watched Heny Sison as usual and i love her! she's just a kitchen goddess! i want to be a good cook but i don't have the patience, dexterity and pain tolerance to do it. i guess my future family will have to subsist in instant noodles. I REFUSE TO BE A STEPFORD WIFE. besides, i can't be. ooh, i'll watch that movie. i've also been watching the olympics and i have decided to marry an athlete. a smart athlete hopefully. preferably a swimmer. i observed they all look good. i also want to be really, really good in something. to be known for something that i really, really exel in. and i have decided that that would be my future.
Posted by juliecious at 07:31 PM |
August 23rd, 2004
sige na nga. i admit.
meron akong dapat ilalagay sa first part nito, pero nag "cannot find server", so i guess it's a sign na hindi ko siya dapat ilagay dahil baka pagsisihan ko lang.
anyway, i'm working on this filipino thing sa abortion. our group is aiming for an A. bad trip kasi ambaba lagi magbigay ni sir. tsk. ayos toh, may drive nanaman ako. medyo lang kinacareer ko yung presentation, complete with pie charts and tables. i love it when i'm driven.
Posted by juliecious at 08:37 PM |
August 26th, 2004
In our defense
oh gawd. i just got fed up with all this cheeziness around me. look, this is my blog, and if you get offended, then that's your friggin problem. i'm just doing my job of feeding my people the information that they need. my mission is to spread much needed apathy in this mush-laiden world.
I'm starting a movement, and our mission is to balance the emotional scale that has been badly tipped by the starry-eyed teenagers that lurk among us, the enlightened ones. I'm still thinking of a name.
you might think i'm all evil for writing something as "horrific and apathetic" as this. guess what, I am!!! i have been for like, 16 years! and i'm not stopping now! i'm not writing this just because, i'm making this contribution in defense of my sisters who share the same opinion (shout out to PaQ), that have been called bitter by these "sweet" people. gawd. could you be more misguided? the worse thing about these people is that their number one assessment of us is that we're just "inexperienced" and that we say these things because we haven't "felt" "it". what is "it" anyway? you're unilateral delusion? (thanks to jessica zafra for that one) Puhlease. spare me. spare us. and don't go on giving me your "words of wisdom", you're the one with the clouded judgement. again, one long pulease. i just hate it when they act all knowlingly. i do that, and there's enough of know-it-all me to go around.
so how do you know if you've been infested by this "'love' bug"?
1. you smile for no apparent reason
2. your smile annoys your seatmate for no apparent reason
3. you sing an awful lot
4. your seatmate's ear is awfully damaged
5. you start seeing hidden meanings in the simplest things and think they're signs from the cosmos that confirm your assessment of your "destiny"
6. your seatmate enlightens you but you cover your eyes with your rose-colored glasses
7. you think you are cute
8. you are not
9. you have a shrine, but you do not notice. that corner in your room filled with his junk and smells of his stench which you complement with your rosemary inscence is not a shrine.
10. you think i'm evil for bringing out the inevitable truth.
*if you are infested, keep distance.
**if you think
I am infested, slap me, i'm very, very sick.
Posted by juliecious at 11:34 AM |
August 29th, 2004
damn, talo ang russia sa volleyball
argh. i'm so frustrated by the results of the olympics.
first, the
Philippines didn't get a single medal. i'm still really proud of our athletes though. i just hate those ungrateful know-it-all's who think they could've done a better job, and follow their stupid statement with a generalization of the Filipino athletic population. if you're so good, then why the hell aren't you there? freak. argh. so frustrating. maybe we just lack the facilities for the more efficient training of our athletes. really,
there's nothing here on earth that i cannot blame on our government.
second,
russia lost the gold medal match to china. ok, i love my fellow asians, but i can't help but feel sorry for the russians. they've always been second place, from the grand prix to the olympics.
it sucks to be second. hey, what a coincidence, this is the second reason of my frustration.
and i just love this google logo. i love google and all its efforts.
Posted by juliecious at 11:02 PM |
my favorite google logo
i'm a feminist. i love this google logo.
Posted by juliecious at 11:11 PM |
August 31st, 2004
angels
I sit and wait does an angel contemplate and do they know the places
Where we go when we're grey and old
'cos I've been told that salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed thoughts running through my head
And i feel that love is dead I'm loving angels instead
[Chorus:]
And through it all she offers me protection a lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong and down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me I know that life won't break me
When I come she won't forsake me I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down a on way street I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love and as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones and when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
[Chorus]
[Repeat Chorus]
picture of my favorite russian player chachkova. and the girl who steals the spotlight
Posted by juliecious at 10:09 PM |
